i read this last nite and wished the man
was nearby so i could give him a hug.
he talked about his marriage and how he
and his wife were learning the 'otherness'
of each other.
he said they started out as very considerate
people and thought of themselves as good
people and they tried to be good and they
tried to live the golden rule with each other.
'do unto others as you would have them do
unto you.'
only it didn't work out very well!!! because
it didn't make room for how very different
they were. they were operating under the
assumption that the other was just like them
or else misguided.
i laughed when i read that.
oh yes, i knew this one.
he said what they eventually learned was that the
golden rule is just the beginning. to grow, they
had to recognize and respect the otherness of
each other.
he said that's the advanced course in marriage
and it goes like this....do unto others as you
would have them do unto you if you were in their
particular, unique and different shoes.
'it is not easy learning.' he said and continues
on saying that he and his wife are still learning
it and sometimes feel like beginners after six
decades of living.
i truly could have just reached out and hugged
this man.
i understood exactly what he was talking about
and the fact that he still felt like a beginner
at times, helped so much.
thought i'd throw it out there for anyone else
tryin' to do unto others and sometimes just not
quite gettin' why it's not working!
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