icky dreams

the alarm went off and i was so glad to get out
of bed. highly unusual for a monday. but it had
been one of those nites filled with uncomfortable
dreams and one full fledged icky nightmare.

i was glad to get up.

seems to be a pattern of when the nightmares come
and i wasn't surprised, but i sure wasn't thrilled.
wishing i hadn't had the dream, i headed out for
a walk to go figure it out.

as i turned the corner, i had an 'aha' moment and
was kinda stunned.

oh my gosh.
here this icky dream was carryin' one heck of a
message for me.

it was about the past coming back and battering you.
it was represented by a young boy who was a sociopath.
he didn't have any conscious about hurting anyone.

he chose an old woman to beat.
he carried a stick and beat her with the stick....

eventually, what was done with the boy - whether he
was allowed to roam as he had been, or if he was locked
up, or sent away or whatever - was the decision of the
one he beat. it was up to the old woman.

there were ins and outs of the dream that no one else
needs...but that was the basic outline.

i thought the representing the past like that was incredible.

it doesn't care if it hurts you or not.
it will beat you over and over again if you let it.
if you allow it to roam thru your life over and over again,
it will keep doin' it til you grow old.
it is up to us what we do with that.
it isn't the police, a jury, other people, friends....
it is ours. our decision alone.

as i walked and thought about it, i was amazed. and i grinned.
okay. okay. i do pay a whole lot more attention to the icky
dreams because they jolt thru me so much i figure i need to
look at them.

there was a lot more in there for me and i just couldn't get
over some of the symbols.

the timing was perfect.
i headed back in feelin' grateful for my dreams.
go figure.
what a difference a walk can make.