Tuesday, June 1, 2010

required classes......

sometimes i sit and figure out great classes
we need to offer in school.

there'd be a lot more practical psych courses,
courses in what love means, courses in self worth,
courses in how to deal with anger and disappointment...
and a class in apologies.

apologies are so powerful.
and when they're missing, it's equally as powerful.

someone once told me how her husband never says
'i'm sorry.' and when she does, he angrily tells
her it's too late. he doesn't want it.

i've seen people who could have made such headway
with a situation by a simple, sincere 'i'm sorry'
just never say it. i've watched the entire course
of conversations change because of that. i have
sat in bewilderment wondering how that could never
have been said.

i've seen the completely empty apologies. those
are worse than nothing, i think.

and i've seen ones that have seemed empty and yet
somewhere down in there they mean it, they just
have to hide it behind the empty look. there's
some weird pride mixed in.


josh loves to tell me the story of when he was
a kid and i'd tell him he needed to apologize to
his brother, he'd say 'i apologize.' which to him
didn't mean he was sorry at all. it was an entirely
different thing. if he said 'i'm sorry.' well then,
he meant that. in his kid mind, there was a handy
little difference.

that's turned into quite a joke around here. and
now if i sincerely say 'i apologize' it usually
gets met with laughter.

i've always been quick to apologize. quick to feel
what the other person feels. i tend to overdo the
apologies. i actually have to work on toning them

so i'm totally lost when someone doesn't offer one.
that'd be such a great topic in a class.

can you imagine all the things we could teach
the kids growin' up.....

heck....maybe these need to be college courses as well.

heck.....maybe these need to be offered all thru life.

required classes in love, humanness, and kindness.....

now there's a thought......


AkasaWolfSong said...

I love that thought Ter...I pray it could be so!


Sorrow said...

yeah, I have heard that " sorry is to late " thing my whole life.
I think it's sad that most of these wonderful lessons of yours aren't taught in the home..
world is a crazy place..

AkasaWolfSong said...

Sorrow and Ter...

I had written earlier that those things need to be taught in the home long before one ever goes to school and then erased it. I don't know why? For me it is a matter of tribal teaching/family teaching so that when our children leave our nests for an hour, a day, a week, and beginning their own lives, the things we teach them we hope will have fallen on ears that truly hear, & eyes that have witnessed true love, so that we would have no need for classes like these?

Just a thought...the deep human need for love and affirmation of that love should be witnessed and felt and validated throughout our lives? Our human moral compass if you will. :)

Pamela Jones said...

how about a class in forgiveness for the people who receive the apologies? I always told my kids that the answer to "I'm sorry" isn't "it's okay," because something okay doesn't require an apology -- we shouldn't excuse the not-okay behavior. The appropriate answer is "I forgive you." Those are powerful, intentional words that don't excuse the act but still love the person.

Merry ME said...

My first thought was nothing more than what the others have said. How to love and apologize and treat other people should be taught at home. Seems like a no brainer.

But what I believe is really sad and a big part of the problem is that families are often so disconnected, and moms and dads maybe only parent how they were parented.

School should be the mirror, I think, that reflects the good behavior. Where teachers teach with respect. Where kids are expected to hone the lessons they've been taught at home.

But what happens when they aren't taught/learned at home? Seems like the only other place besides church would be the class room.

Charlotte said...

We not only taught my son to say please, thank you, and you're welcome, but we've also taught him how to say I'm sorry, I forgive you, you're right, and I love you.

I love that my thirteen year old son is not afraid to tell me he loves me when I drop him off at school. He kissed me on the cheek one day, and as I was waiting to pull out of the school drive, I heard his friends give him grief about kissing his momma. His reply? "Yea, I still kiss my mom. I happen to love her. Not my fault my mom's cool. Got a problem with that?"

Dang, now I need to go hug my kid for no reason...

Sherry said...

Awww...Charlotte!!! That's awesome...if I'm ever blessed with the chance to have children I hope they're like your son!! Pam..that's sooo true!
And Terri...I've been meaning to ask you if you've ever heard of this before: Ho'oponopono. I don't know too much about it...but one thing I read has this mantra "I love you, thank you, I forgive you, I am sorry." Google it and you'll find some interesting stories!

Sherry said...

oops! I think I typed that wrong...it's "I Love You, Please Forgive Me, Thank you, I'm sorry."