ketchup not salsa....

we were sittin' around the table havin' lunch.

there was a ketchup bottle on the table and a jar
of salsa.

josh turned to me and asked me how i was doin' with
some stuff that landed on me last nite.

i told him i had figured something out.

i picked up the ketchup bottle.

'this is the deal here.' i said.
'this is what's goin' on.'

then i picked up the salsa jar and said
'this is what i want to be goin' on. this is
what i keep tryin' to see.'

'ohhhh they're both red' he said.

i laughed.

yeah.
they're both red.
but they're totally different.

i need to know this is what is.
and i shook that ketchup bottle in the air.

i need to stop wishing for this.
and i plunked the salsa down.

and i figured that out.
and i think that's way way important.

why twist yourself up tryin' to make something
into something it's not???

why not accept things and go from there?

why indeed.

and the why is what i need to sit with.
and then accept my very human reasons.
offer compassion to that part of me.....

and then move forward.

i actually thought it was a kinda freeing thought.....