Wednesday, July 7, 2010


yeah, it's a bit hot here.
but it's all anyone's talkin' about.
which is kinda funny considering how many
people never really leave an air conditioned
environment for more than for a few moments.

i didn't want to be like that. specially as
i knew i had AC in my studio now. so i had
no real problems.

i knew it was coming, groaned as i like the
cool...looked for when the heat would break and
knew as long as i knew it would break, i'd be

first nite sleeping was warm, but it cooled
down enough. i didn't sleep well, but figured
it would aide in my sleeping the next nite.
i'd be tired enough not to care.

that was last nite.
which was even warmer. i lay in bed too warm
to sleep. something i have said every year when
talking to people about not having an air conditioner
is 'at most there's maybe three nites a season
that are too hot to sleep.' i thought of that and
wondered if that'd hold true this year as it's only
july. looks like we may mess with that theory.

taking forever to go to sleep, i slept late.
sleeping late means i missed any kinda exercise time.
feelin' outta sorts about this, i fuzzily went about
my morning stuff. noticing how hot it was in the
house already and knowing this would just continue
for days.

not happy with this idea, i plopped myself down at
my desk. feelin' pretty hot and a little sick to my
stomach i leaned back. i think i need a cold shower.
even tho i haven't exercised.

and that's where i'm heading.
but with this thought....

it IS hot. and that SHOULD change things. it should
affect how i sleep and what i do. cause it really
really is hot. my yard is burnt up, i'm tryin' to
save a few plants and some trees i planted last year.
it's dry, it's hot, and things are feelin' it.

how totally cool that i'm part of that.
how totally cool that it's affecting me.
sometimes my entire world is so insulated from everything
else 'out there' that it's so easy to not feel anything
about it.

i thought of that last nite about some world events.
it's 'out there' and when i tune in, i'm overwhelmed.
so mostly i don't tune in. or only part way tune in.

that's not so good.
i know that somehow that's survival.
but i think we can insulate way too much. become not
part of things anymore.

the heat this morning reminded me of that.
we ARE part of the deal here.
it SHOULD affect us.
it's a good thing. even when it makes us sick to our
stomach at times......

there's coping the cold shower i'm
headin' to......but coping and being part of something
is way better than insulating and ignoring.
i think so, anyway.

and the morning looks way different now.


Sherry said...

Your posts always seem to strike a chord with me, Terri... Talking about insulating and the heat and all... I was thinking about your one sigh this morning..the one about going through the fire of fear to your passion. That's always been one of my favorites...but this morning something happened that shook something in me and made me realize that for me, fear takes the form of ice. I don't know if me loving the heat and hating the cold has anything to do with it. But for me the fear isn't so much a fiery wall keeping me from my passion, but an icy encasement, "insulating" my heart, keeping it numb and unaware...keeping my passion from infusing my soul...funny thing is..I think it might be starting to melt.

peggi said...

your post reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:

"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were. Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee..."

John Donne
Meditation 17
Devotions upon Emergent Occasions