stars, fireworks and joy

it's been a long, long time since i hung
out with him and his telescope.
usually it's too late, or too far away or too
cold,or i'm just too tired.....

but last nite, when i found out that josh was
actually opting out of his plans to travel
down the road with his scope, and was going
to stay home and star gaze, and bob was leaving
early, well, i knew it was an opportunity to
snag.

in answer to josh's invitation, i heard myself
say 'i think i could really use this, i'll be
there.'

stopping for some soy ice cream on the way, i
headed out at dusk. we sat on his back porch
eating ice cream and catching up. i miss his
energy in my house. it's always nice to sit and
soak some up.

'it's been a long time since i took you on a sky
tour' he smiled.

i smiled back.

i was ready.

years and years ago, i had hung out with him in a
field about an hour south with his astronomy club.
it was dark there. that's why they met there. away
from all the lights around us.
they had scopes of every size. it was the first
time in my life i had ever seen the stars like that.

as completely ignorant as this sounds, i seriously
had no idea that there were so many stars out there.
i remember gasping as i looked thru the huge scope
at the gazillions of stars. i had no idea there were
so many. no idea at all.

i didn't expect to see that again last nite as that
was a really big scope and josh's, while big, isn't
that big....

but ya know.....his house is a little bit darker than
mine......and that's all it took. while not as bright
as that first time i looked years ago, i could still
see all those stars.

i gasped again.
i asked him......am i really that ignorant? does
everyone know there's this many stars up there???

his answer was so kind. he said something about it being
hard to comprehend and we just don't really take it all
in.

it's not that. while that goes on too.
i just didn't know.
and i'd like to suggest that if you haven't ever looked
thru a fairly big telescope, that you really need to make
that happen....because it's completely filled with stars
up there...and you need to know this. you need to see this.

i sat back while he got up view after view for me.
'oh my gosh! what's that?!' i said as i looked thru at
one of the views.

'it's the ancient city of suns.' he said.

i sat back down and leaned up lookin' at the sky thinking
about that....

the ancient city of suns.

woe.

wonder if i have one of them in me, i thought.
and smiled at the sky.

there were double clusters and giant globulas or something
like that....josh knows all the terms, all the names, and
he can turn that scope onto all kindsa things.

the best tho was when he told me to just look thru the eye
piece and move the scope anywhere i wanted.

i looked thru and saw millions and gazillions of stars and
just gently moved that scope all over the place and everywhere
i looked....it was more and more and more. i just kept gently
moving that thing....wandering the sky. and getting lost in
the vastness of it all.

the vastness.

once again....that word, that thought, that sky........

i've got something to work with now when i visualize the stars
inside of me.

i think i want to start playin' with that vastness of it all.

cause i honestly believe that's inside us as well.

and that honestly makes me gasp.

stars.
millions and gazillions of stars.......

they're in us. they're above us. they're part of us.

and tonite when i'm out watchin' the fireworks, i'm gonna
be holding that.

and i'm gonna let the joy of that explode in me along with
those fireworks.

happy fourth of july....