what a nite

it was just one of those nites.
i was so tired and yet wide awake.
i got up and wandered for a few minutes.
then got back in bed.

wide awake, i got up and wandered again.

back in bed, i decided maybe i was hungry.

eatin' a banana, i thought how i'd like to go
to sleep now.

snugglin' in, i slept.

couldn't have been too long when the rain
woke me up.

it was pouring.
just pouring.

got up to close the windows.

back in bed, i dozed off again.

CRrrrrRRRRAAaaaaaCCCcccKKKKkkkkkkkk.......

lightning hit close by.

eyes wide i listened to the storm.

eyes shut i thought how wonderful it all sounded
as long as it didn't do any damage.
dozing i heard the loud bangs, booms and crackles
and cozied deeper into my pillow.

SLAAAAM!

the den door slammed shut.

bolting straight up in bed, i looked over hoping
to see noah or zakk go by after having slammed the door.
no noah. no zakk.
still sitting upright i tried to reason why the door
woulda slammed. all my wonderful knowledge of physics
kicked in and i thought of the windows that were closed
and which one was open and how it just wouldn't have
been reason to make the door slam.

laying back down, i figured that if it was an intruder,
they prolly wouldn't have slammed the door. and even if
they had, i woulda known by now.

pulling the blankets close to my face i dozed off again....

more lighting. more thunder.
the rain poured at my window.

sitting up again i saw that my gutter musta been clogged
right at my window as the water was just pouring down in
a way that couldn't have been good for the house.

sigh.

laying down again i thought of a man.
any man.
preferably bob, but seriously, at this point, i think any
man woulda done.

it's not often i wish there was a man right next to me.
i mean, sure, it would be great if bob was here. but he's
not and i usually handle that pretty well.

at this point tho, i was really missin' that body you just
push against and say 'what was that??' and they take care
of everything.

i thought of my elderly neighbor. how long had it been since
she had that?? for me....it's been nine years. oh my gosh.
nine??? nine years. for her.......way longer.

wow i wondered. how does that feel to have no one there with
you for so long?? i mean, nine years is pretty long......
wow......

i thought about that.....
how comforting it is to have that.
but then again.......how it's not very comforting when it's
the wrong body in there with you.

i sighed.

i covered my head, rolled over, and went back to sleep.

this morning it all seemed really funny.

tonite, i'm taking my stuffed monkey to bed with me.