raisin' the bar

i guess i'm just a mini meltdown kinda gal.

or at least, i am when i have this many family
issues swirling around me that don't look like
they're gonna stop any time soon.

if you want to unravel me, throw some family issues
my way.

so after yet another mini-meltdown last nite,
i grabbed my new book, defy gravity. (by caroline myss)

i do believe this may be one of my all time favorite
books. i'm only on page 74, so i'm not sure yet.
but if i had to vote so far, it would make it to the
top rankings.

i am loving this book.

i found a whole lotta wonderful things in it.
but there was one thing i read over and over last nite
about a thousand times......

'as attractive as inner empowerment or healing might seem,
making the choice to move from being ill or in crisis
(as in mini-meltdowns)
to being on the path to personal transformation requires
courage, because it RAISES THE BAR ON THE QUALITY OF YOUR
PERSONAL CHOICES FROM THAT POINT ONWARD.'

i read that over and over. out loud. silently.

and that raises the bar part caught my attention big time.

i think what i do is raise the bar, settle in, get sloppy,
things unravel, i get discontented, and then i work on
raising the bar again.

i would guess that's my pattern.

things have definitely gotten sloppy.
things have definitely been unraveling.
i have definitely been discontented.

and now, i see i have work to do.

i woke up super early yet again this morning.
yet again thinking about my life.

just handle things one at a time, ter.
as they come at ya, face them, deal with them,
and set that bar where you want it.

it's up to you.

that's my plan...........

and now, instead of sittin' here kinda cowering about
what's coming next, i'm feelin' that gleam in my eye.

bring it on, baby.
i'm ready for you.