what a weekend...

it's gratitude weekend over here for me.
and i needed it.
i've been a little bit frustrated about the budgeting and such
lately, and while it hasn't 'gotten' me like it can...
it has clouded my eyes a bit on how lucky i really am.

a few days ago i had talked to my brother.
a perfectionist with an incredibly perfect house.
everything he owns is the best and in perfect shape.
everything i own isn't.

he asked me on the phone 'how you doin' with upkeep?'

my answer?

i snorted.

snorted and said 'upkeep??'

i got to thinking about my surroundings....i do try.
but there's only so much time. only so much money.
okay.
very little time.
very little money for that stuff.

hmmmmmm......
and my eyes got clouded again.

friday nite, josh made a comment at dinner that made me realize how much i really had. he told me stories of people losing everything they owned.
my eyes opened a bit,
and i reminded myself that i was indeed quite lucky.
my eyes got less cloudy.

saturday nite, i sat in this crowd of people who had stories not only written all over their faces...
they were written all over their bodies.

i knew there were some hard stories around me.
and i knew how lucky i was.
at one point, standing on the bleachers, i fell into bob's chest laughing
about some bet we made, and it was like i got wrapped in the lucky blanket.
i could feel how lucky i was.
and the clouds scattered a bit more.

and then this morning, i come down to a note from someone i love. i had sent her
a book of questions to ponder for her birthday. you know, just a million questions
to get conversations goin'.
she and her husband had hit the question 'if heaven had to look like the inside of one of your friend's houses, which friend would it be?'

she wrote to tell me her husband said mine.

mine.

this really really hit me as their house is perfect.
i mean......perfect.
they have no kids, and they're BOTH perfectionists.
i've stayed there and when i do, i get the whole downstairs to myself, i get
a whole bathroom to myself, the towels are so fluffy and soft and everything is so
clean it looks brand new. when i saw their kitchen sink, i remember standing there looking at it saying 'i didn't know sinks stayed that color.'

yeah.

i have one bathroom that you have to time to use.
the towels.....well, man, if you get my best towel, there's a little bit of fluff left in maybe one of 'em.
you get to sleep in my room while i sleep on a cot somewhere.
there's no AC....and well.....the kitchen sink isn't the same color as when we
got it.

and they've stayed here. they know this!!!
she said 'to us, your house represents comfort, ease, acceptance, love,
relaxation, whimsy and fun.'

that was it.
all the clouds lifted.
they all just lifted with that.

i'm looking forward to goin' back into my work week with cloud free eyes,
remembering how much i do have, remembering how lucky i really am, and
remembering that it's not about the money, it's about what i can offer....

what a weekend....