finding me

i'm likin' september.
oh yes. it's the second and i already like it a lot.

yesterday found me on the floor of my studio
surrounded with watercolor, playin', creating and
just following whatever came out.

it'd been way too long since i'd done that.

i took periodic breaks thru the day to sit with
the book that has seen me on miles and miles of my
journey - women who run with the wolves. nodding
thru all the places i read, i felt something stir
inside of me.

last nite, in the middle of the nite, it got intense.
woke up. did a lot of soul searchin' thinking.

this morning, grabbing my wolf book again, thumbing
thru all the underlined pages and reading golden
nugget after golden nugget, i realized something.

i guess i knew it in yesterday's post.
but maybe it's just way more solid in me today.
maybe i recognize stuff in me more today.
don't know.

but today, i see sooooo darn clearly that i'm back
on track. that somewhere along the line, i got way off...
and didn't see it til it was gonna take one of those
big long turns to come round again.

you know those huge big ol' boats in the ocean who
have to take this huge big ol' turn to turn around?

that'd be me.

thing is.....i caught it.
i finally finally caught it.

and i remembered something........

i'm strong.
and creativity grows that strength.
and certain places in my life suck that strength
right outta me.

and i let those places win last month.

i really really did.

but it's september.
and i've remembered.

gathering some of my best tools around me -
my watercolors, my paper and pen, and my books that
speak to my soul - i'm hunkerin' down and finding me
again.

as much as i hate losing me,
i gotta say, finding me again is one heck of a tickle.