surfacing

there we sat, three women friends.

we started with her buttons gettin' pushed
and where that was taking her.

we turned to the next and talked of menopause
and the hormone changes.

which led into a big womens' physical kinda
conversation....

as we sat and laughed over this stuff, i just
looked at them and knew what gold i had.

we turned to me and my stuff. i shared some
of my stuff. but held back.

i still didn't have my nerve up.

it's been so close to my heart.
and these two women i can trust.
i knew that.

i finally brought it up.

god stuff.

tears ran down my face as i tried to explain
some thoughts.

always a sure sign that it's way close to my heart.

i think that was the break-thru i needed.

it was the start of talking out loud about it.

a friend called later.
it'd been too long.
we caught up and it was time to go...
and i held him on longer and said 'i know this is
weird, but i gotta ask you before you go....'

and i launched into the god stuff.

he paused when i was done, and said gently,
'let me remind you of this...'

and he reminded me of stuff we've talked a lot about
in the past. i love the way he said 'remind'....what
a great word.

i closed my eyes, and heard him.

'where have you been??' i asked him and laughed.

when things are deep inside me sometimes it's hard for
me to talk about it.

kinda hard to believe, i know.
grin.

but true.

the deeper it is, the quieter i'll get.
until i can bring it to the surface and look at it
with my trusted friends.

while i'm thrilled it surfaced today,
what has really got my attention right now is
the people who were there listening and sharing.

i could feel the holding of my heart that they did
as they talked to me.

i could feel them holding my heart with love.

my gosh.

talk about gold.

and while i know the god stuff is the topic i'll be
thinking about...
the friend stuff is what i'm rejoicing in today.