a great line

i thought about it.
i drooled over it.
i shook my head no.
wait.
it'll be there in a few months.
wait.
i thought about it.
drooled over it.
wiped my chin.
and then, the little voice inside said:
'it will feed your soul.'
'your soul needs feeding right now.'
'do this for yourself.'
and that day, i went ahead and ordered it.
my very own copy of 'the dangerous old woman'
by clarissa pinkola estes.
the audio version.

when it came in, my hands were trembling.
wow.
think that's a sign my soul could use some feeding.
they seriously were trembling.
i was so excited to do this for myself and to
hear what she had to say.

stealing a little time here and there i've managed
to listen to a disc and a half so far.

and i gotta tell you,
i forgot i could be touched like this.
i forgot how it feels to be touched like this.
there is a deep deep deep part of me that can't decide
whether to weep or dance over being found again.

how can i lose these parts of me?
how can i let them fall asleep or get buried?
it almost aches it feels so good......

and i make a mental note to pay attention to feeding
my soul. to make it priority. to make it part of my life.

there's this one sentence that she said that i've repeated
to three different people.

so i thought that would be the one sentence i put out here
to start with....

of course, i don't have a direct quote as it was many sentences
ago....

but it was something like - wherever there is beauty, the predator
shows up.

wherever there is beauty the predator shows up.

i'm not sure why that sentence made me feel good.
but it did.

and over the last few days as i think about it, i see that truth
everywhere. in so many different forms. in so many different ways.

and i think why i like it so much is that i find it helpful.

i can get caught up in 'the predator' and get muddled.
but if i just know that that shows up....and that that's the way
it works, i think i won't have to get so muddled.

and when i think of the stories i've heard the last few days,
if the people only understood that they were the beauty....
and that that's a good thing....
and that this stuff isn't there fault.
i don't know, it seems like it would help.

not sure if it will hit anyone else like it did me....

but that's been floating in my head for days now.
thought i'd share........