sometimes i just so need those breaks.
there is something about piling in that car with
those big guys....where there's not enough room and
there's knees and shoulders everywhere along with
food, caffeinated drinks and loud music.
we hadn't even gotten all folded into the car yet
when zakk had the music blarin'. one of his latest
weirdo songs was goin' and it's some kinda genre of
music that josh hates. he rolled his eyes at the guys
as he stood on the driveway waiting for noah to fold
himself in the back seat with me. he's complaining about
their taste of music, noah's pullin' his legs into the
car, and zakk is pacin' around the driveway because
that's what he does.
i'm hollerin' over the music from the other back seat,
'no, no, no, josh, that's what i thought....but you gotta
listen to the lyrics, it's my new favorite song!'
noah has now curled himself in. we joke about him being
the master of this bending kinda stuff and we pull outta
the driveway with zakk talkin' about some guy who can
smoosh himself into this incredibly tiny space as josh
listens to these wacked out lyrics that got me thru a hard
and the trip has begun.
i'm asking how the guy could fit in whatever he fit in,
zakk is explaining the human body to me, and josh is laughin'
over the song sayin' 'oh man! i want to cover this one.'
it's all at once. the rhythm in the car is different.
it's more chaotic and crazy. and that's what i love.
there's not enough room in the car for the food to start with.
so whenever anyone wants a sandwich or something i lean way
far up, noah pulls open the hatch door behind me and reaches
the stuff outta the trunk. sooner or later all the food has
found its way into the car, and noah has a bruised arm because
i tend to fall against the hatch when zakk accelerates.
the best moments for me, revolve around the car part of the trip.
and this time was no exception.
having gotten outta the car for less than five minutes at some
quiet little spot i managed to step into some horrific smelling
stuff. and of course, didn't know it, and got back in the car.
zakk pulled over immediately, we all piled out.
and the icky icky process of cleaning it all up began.
with the guys circling way far away only to come in close to
grab a bag or a paper towel for me....
unable to get it all really clean and with a smell still in the
car, we stopped at a store and josh ran in for 'anything toxic
and strong smelling!'
out he came with some fabreze.
handing it to me in the back seat, my brain totally went dead.
i don't know what happened. but the simple spray trigger bottle
turned into something i had never seen before let alone understand.
with the complete puzzlement of someone just landing on the planet,
i pulled on the spray handle saying out loud 'what's this???'
as it sprayed full force into noah's face.
i screamed. noah turned his face quick, and josh whipped out his cell
phone to record what was happening! (that's just what josh does)
when i realized noah wasn't blinded, i laughed so hard i couldn't breathe.
i laughed and laughed and laughed.
and then i cleaned the floor a bit more and sprayed so much of that
stuff on it that you couldn't smell anything else.
and THAT moment, right there, in the parking lot....was one of my
favorite moments of the day.
cause it was completely idiotic, it made me laugh harder than i had
laughed in weeks, and noah wasn't blind.
there was the hunt for coffee and the discovery that seven eleven
actually has pumpkin spice latte! there was the looking at art with
the guys in our favorite gallery and his brothers buying noah's christmas
present for him, there was the dopey games home in the dark with zakk caffeinated
and animated, there was watchin' my sons from a friend's truck while
they stood around my surrogate mom talking with her, i sat in the truck
and watched them and loved how they stood there talking so gently with her.
and there was wandering around a big antique place with zakk tellin' me
not to admit that i used to have some of the stuff i was finding. and there
was the landing home in our driveway in the dark. all moments to heal the soul.
those days are the world's best medicine for me.
the feeling of those days is what i want to share here.......
life...it's so darn full.
and sometimes it's so darn hard.
and then there's days like this..........
when you land in your driveway at the end, in the dark,
and you look up at the sky and you just whisper 'thank you.'