magic inside me...

my head's stuffed full.
don't know how to get it all out.....

walked this morning just as day break was happening.
talk about magic.
and i thought of the audio i just did with josh
where he said he looked forward to another year to
spin magic.

i looked at the sky spinning magic.

yeah, me too, i thought.
that's what i want to do with my days.

and then the word 'choices' popped in.
choices.
choices.
choices.

how it's all choices.
oh, i know.....some things we have no control over.
that i know. but how we react to them is choices.

sigh.
i love that and hate that.

are you making the choices that work for you, ter?
i walked and wondered.

coming home i stopped at certain spot and just looked
at the sky changing colors. i was lost in it all.
then shook awake by a dark figure heading towards me.

jolted, i started moving again.
it was just someone walkin' somewhere.
no big deal.
but it startled me.
reminded me to pay attention and be a little more aware.

don't take it all for granted, ter.
it can be taken at any moment.
it is a gift.
i kept thinking that as i walked home.

comin' in, i plopped myself down on the floor with a pile
of old papers from when i was a kid. old drawings, stuff
from school. that kinda thing.

so much of the things i made were cards with 'i love you'
all over them.

i had to smile.
we never said that out loud. my parents never said that to us.
it was weird. it was like you couldn't say those words.
very odd when i look back.....
and i never said them til i grew up.
but i sure wrote them a lot!

i was so full of love. it was bursting thru everything there.
and how odd we couldn't say those words out loud. it was like
i needed to find a place for that feeling...and it was in writing
the words out.

wow....made me think of bone sighs.

saw some work of my brother's.
the personalities of all three of us totally came out in the
stuff there.

so much of who i am, i've always been.
so much of who i am is my choice...and i can look at that
and do what i want with it.
and so much of what i want to do is spin magic.

inside me.

i'm talkin' magic inside me.

focusin' on the magic today.