a bit of a rant...

so i ranted a little bit on the way home.
sometimes i rant.
it's actually a compliment if i rant in your presence.
i only do it with those i'm close to.

and well...i had just been sitting thru what felt like
five years of an event.
and if either one of these guys was taking it seriously
about their career, i was just gonna have a fit.
i really needed them to see beyond this.

my girlfriend was nominated for some awards.
my son was there for the networking.
this is their field.
a building full of their peers.

and as i sat there in the middle of this whole thing
i thought what a tough field it is.

but this event......oh my gosh.
well, it made me crazy.

i've done an event that reminded me of this one.
so it's not just them.
it's not just their field.
it's a whole lotta fields. (maybe most? maybe all??)
but did they see it??

i wanted to make sure they did.
because i didn't always see it with my own peers.

'you have an entire building filled with musicians.
it is your job to entertain. that is what you people
do. tell me then why on earth it was one of the worst
events i've ever been to?! you'd have to try to make
it that bad with that much talent in the room.'

and i mean that.

how is that possible???

and yes, i've done art gigs like this.
and no, i didn't see it quite like this.
cause i was caught up in trying to do something in my
field. in trying to pay attention to my peers.

well, ya know what? that's all such a crock.
and i could so see it when it was their field and not mine.

beyond the obvious dripping egos there was just plain
bad entertainment, and a really lousy, unimpressive,
downright maddening procedure to win the awards.

my girlfriend didn't win any.
and i thought i would have gone away really sad about that
for her. but shoot, i wasn't sad.
i was irate that her not winning might actually affect
her mood.

you gotta be kidding me?!
did you SEE what was going on?!
were you at that event?!

you don't need this.
you sooo don't need this.
don't even make the mistake thinking you do.

and that was something i did notice...
cause it's big in my field too....
a whole lotta people were taking themselves a whole lotta
seriously. when well..ya know........they really didn't need to.
they really didn't.
it woulda helped a whole lot if they didn't.

i'm easy to impress.
i really am.
specially with music.
i don't know enough to tell you if it's good or bad.
i just know when it moves me, or makes me want to dance,
or makes me feel SOMETHING.

this just pretty much made me feel completely insulted.

this morning, the very first thing i did, was put on my
friend's music. i listened to her singing my favorite song.

she's good.
she's way way good.
and that's not just one friend loving another.
she makes me proud i know her.

and if this goofy event that was everything i would not want an
event to be could even put a doubt in her mind about her talent,
well, that'd just be a darn shame.

and of course, i did what i do with these things.
i turned it on me.
and saw how i would not see the reality of the event
because i'd be caught up in the 'my field' and 'my peer'
part.....

what a shame.
i know i have done that as well.

but i think i learned something really important last nite.
not to.
just don't do that.

i don't know if it's the creative part in me - something tells
me it may be more the homeschooling mom in me.....
the part of me that's spent years trying to help bring out
the spark in my sons...
i am completely baffled on how we could get so much talent together
and completely uninspire.

and then take that seriously.

food for thought for this artist over here.
and for this liver of life.