Tuesday, February 1, 2011

from my heart...

a friend of mine is at her father's funeral today.
i keep thinking of her.
and wonderin' how she's holding up.

as i remember her, i remember back to my own dad's funeral.

funny the things that stick in your mind.
i'm sure there's just a ton of things i have forgotten,
but the things i do remember i remember vividly.

i gotta say, i remember very little good about that day.
probably the only good was some of the support i felt
around me.

i didn't even feel all that great about the support i
was trying to give.

the moment that was most profound to me, and i don't think
i'll ever forget was sitting there looking over at that
blue velvety cloth bag that was over the thing holdin'
my dad's ashes.

i had a great view of it. it was really close to me.
and i just kept looking at that thing and thinking
'is this it??? is this what happens??? we just end up
as ashes?? is this really it??'

i kept staring.
and i kept wondering.

turns out i haven't stopped wondering since.

i know we all have our theories, our hopes, our
beliefs....

that was the time i figured out i didn't know what
mine were.

my friend has a faith she believes in, and i think
that has got to help a lot.

i think of her sitting at her dad's funeral.
i think of me sitting at mine.

it's a feeling you never forget.

the only good i remember from that day was some of the
support i received....

i am so sending her that in my heart today.

for all daughters who have lost their fathers...
and yes, i do know that doesn't mean they had to
pass away for you to feel the loss....let's gather
our hearts around my friend. maybe she'll feel the love.

1 comment:

Merry ME said...

Oh yes, I felt it.