walking hard and fast this morning,
it was once again like i was trying to run to an answer.
i knew it and kept the pace up.
heading back home from my walk, i knew i needed more.
turned around and headed to my goodmorningworld spot.
i miss that longer walk. and today i needed it.
got to the corner, looked at the pastel colors in the sky
and shook my head at it.
why always a test? i asked.
why always some big thing as i'm tryin' to get a new idea
frustrated, i stood there looking at that soft sky.
i stood there as the answer went thru me...
you wouldn't want to think you've got it when you don't,
you want to really put it into practice, don't you?
and i turned and walked hard and fast some more.
HOW do i REALLY put this theory into the practical??
HOW do i REALLY shift my insides and rewire my thinking??
it's one thing in theory.
it's a whole 'nother thing in life.
there for a brief moment i had it.
i could feel it.
i had it.
it was when i took the focus off of me.
when i put the focus on the other.
and just as quickly, i lost it.
back and forth i wrestled as i walked.
i'd get it again.
a different angle.
really knowing everything i needed was inside of me.
really knowing that, i'd have it.
and then, bam......it'd slip away again.
walkin' back up to my driveway, i saw my neighbor.
a gentle soul.
we stopped and talked.
i soaked in his gentle spirit.
we ended up talking for awhile.
just standing there looking at him helped me.
something about his gentleness and patience.
turning towards my house i smiled.
more painting the kitchen for me today.
with gentleness and patience for myself.....