i wasn't off to the best start this morning,
and i knew it.
dark memories ran thru me as i tried to roll over and
go back to sleep.
i could just feel the heaviness inside me as i got up.
great. just great.
i took a walk first before the treadmill.
thought maybe i could kinda steady myself.
walking and thinking about life, i had this desperate urge
to just grab my cell phone, call bob and ask him to just
tell me what life was all about.
just explain it to me, darn it.
then i'll be fine.
the urge was strong, but i kept walking.
i had to smile.
i must think bob's pretty wise.
and yeah i do.
but i knew he couldn't help me with this one.
as i was on the treadmill, i thought about it.
no one can tell ya, ter.
cause everyone has their own twists.
and it's theirs.
how is it everyone's okay with this???
i felt inside of me.
what can you do to center?
immediately art projects popped into my mind.
i got involved in thinking about them.
right away i knew that'd feel good.
i went up, trimmed my hair.
i usually cut my hair when i'm emotional.
and that's really not a good plan.
it definitely shows.
and each time i vow i won't do it again.
and well.....i do it again.
this time tho....i just trimmed.
took a hot shower.
thought of art.
and could feel it's what would really help me today.
so, make it a day that feels good, i thought.
and that's my big cosmic plan for the day.
i'm gonna do all kindsa things that make me feel good.
and as dumb as it sounds, i feel better already.