that estrogen presence...

we gathered.
it'd been too long.
she'd just got back from a family thing.
'how'd it go?' i asked her first thing.

she leaned back and said 'i was compassionate and polite.'

i laughed, leaned back too, and said 'that counts for a whole whole lot.'

and having just lived this myself, i nodded with great understanding.
there was chatter and jokes and stories of her gathering.
there was seriousness and a whole lot of laughing.

turning to our other friend, we asked about some of her stuff.

'compassionate and polite' came up again.

i laughed hard.

man, was it good to be sitting in their energy again.

apparently i was grinning at one of them across the table.
just grinning at her, soaking her up.
she commented on it.

'i've missed you.' i said.

sometimes i honestly forget how much i need to sit with real
live estrogen.

i watched myself.
it was like all this tight stuff inside of me just relaxed.

with the guys, i can only show them so much. they're my sons.
they see enough tears. and i'm okay with that as they've
learned much compassion thru it. and they've learned a lot
about living and life.
but they're my sons. and there needs to be boundaries.
i know that, and keep them.

with my girlfriends.......i could just sink into them.
i didn't need to take care of them. i didn't need to edit
anything i said.
and the funny thing is, i didn't tell them a whole lot.
but i knew i could if i wanted to.

what i wanted today was their stories, their energy, their presence.

i think we forget sometimes just how important 'presence' is.

i soaked theirs up this morning....

i don't think i'd be able to survive without women in my life.......