my gears jammed....

as i walked by the first time she tapped on her window and waved.
i waved back.

as i walked by on my way home, i looked over. not sure if i should
head up and knock or not. it was early.
i was looking towards her house trying to decide
when i saw her out sweeping her car port.

ah! THERE you are! i said as i headed up.

told her i couldn't decide if i should knock or not.
and by then i had made it right up to her.

she wasn't twinkling this morning.

i asked how she was.

'sometimes i just want to give up.' she answered.

'are you hurting?' i asked her.

'no, just feeling like giving up.'

'can we sit?' i asked as i put my arm out to her bench.

funny.
what else would i say?
of course i'd sit and ask her about it.

and yet, she seemed really surprised and happy that i cared.

so i sat next to her and asked 'feelin' down about stuff?'

and then she proceeded to tell me that she had some poison someone
had given her years ago for mice and she just didn't know what
to do with it. how to get rid of it. and it was really bothering her.

okay.
i gotta tell ya....
my gears in my head jammed up.

'well, gosh.' i said.
'i don't know what you do with that.'

she thought she'd heard burning it was a good idea.

'mmmm...i'm thinking that's probably something that you shouldn't do.'
i said still trying to unjam the gears.

a truck drove by.
i laughingly told her how i missed the trash truck today,
how i had stopped to fix a plant on my way to bring the trash out
and sure enough, they drove right by me.'

i was tellin' it as a goofy terri story.
'there's always something, isn't there?' she asked seriously.

mmmmmmm........okay.........she's feelin' overwhelmed.
having to take care of everything.
including the mouse poison.

'yeah,' i answered. there is.
and it gets hard, doesn't it?
and i tried to tell her how none of us have it under control.
how we're all scrambling.

seeing i was gonna get nowhere, i changed directions
and went to laughter.
laughed and carried on.
got her laughing with me.
carryin' on with me.

when she was twinkling again, i headed home.

she's been on my mind ever since.
i've got her poison answer now and called her about it.
one of the guys will get the wasp nest out of her car port.
they'll mow her lawn.
and we'll keep pluggin' along.

until she can't anymore. even with our help.

i'm thinking i just don't like the whole old age deal......
and i'm thinking that's what she was sayin' to me in the first place.
of course she wants to give up.
and it has nothing to do with that mouse poison.
and everything to do with that mouse poison.