a safe place....

everyone needs a safe place.
a really really safe place that's all theirs.

my studio is my haven, my hide out, my fortress,
my safe place.

it's nice my whole house feels that way to me.
but my studio is the main spot i go to get lost
and hide.

i found myself headin' straight here today.

i noticed that in the rest of the house i think.
'specially my room.
i think a lot up there.

the theory goes that since my emotions are so intense,
(just happens to be my personality type) that i spend a
lot of time trying to figure them out so that i can cope.

prolly true theory, prolly dumb idea.

it reminds me of my not so bright plan with my pregnancies.
having a few miscarriages in my history, i remember the
thinking i had - don't tell anyone you're pregnant so that if
it 'doesn't work out' early on, you won't have to tell anyone
and it will be easier.

oh yeah. like that worked.

i'm not so sure the thinking things thru and figuring them out
helps a whole lot.

feelings are feelings.
no matter why you have them, or what great reasoning you apply
to them or how much you share them or hide them from others.
feelings are feelings.

and sometimes i just need a place to let them rest.

the other nite i got into bed cursing my intuition. i was sick
over something i saw and no one else could see. hoped i was wrong,
knew i wasn't, tried to ignore the sick stomach, and tell myself
who really knew anything, just go to sleep.
didn't work.
i woke up thinking about it all.

i think my room is my think box.

oh, i got it....it's the brains of my house. the place where i
think.

the kitchen's gotta be the heart.
maybe the stomach....

and my studio...the womb.

oh yeah. absolutely.

i'm curled in this morning and feelin' grateful
that i have a place that feels this comforting to me.

everyone needs a safe place.