i don't know...it's been a hazy few days.
between the cold and cold medicine, life's been fuzzy.
thru the haze, there's been some pretty straightforward in your face kinda reminders.
there was a sudden passing in one of my friend's lives.
her note to let everyone know point blank reminded us that we didn't know how long we had,
and 'to say i love you a lot.'
there were other reminders too.
seemed like lots of them.
things people would write, things i'd hear people say...
i've been using the hazy cold down time to think, to see where i am with life,
to see how i'm feeling about it all.
'passive' seems to be the word i'd pick to describe how i was when i got the cold.
that'd make sense to me too.
passive and just kinda depleted.
i've watched it and tried to be something different, but it was still all inside of me.
just running thru me like a river.
but i feel like with the cold i've lived about as passive as i could the last few days
and i'm really done with it. between watching, getting the reminders, and not having
the energy to do what i've wanted...i'm totally ready to get back into the game.
with a twist.
i've been doin' a whole lotta thinking.
even before the haze of the cold.
a whole lot.
i want to start working with some of the thoughts.
tinkering with them in real time.
seeing if i can expand a bit on this living i'm doing.
do i even know what i'm talking about?
i just know i'm different coming out of the cold than going in.
and i've got a lot i want to experiment with.
life certainly can knock me flat sometimes.
it really really can.
but then again...it can intrigue me enough to not only make me want to get back up again,
it makes me want to lean over and peer around the corner and peek into some of the
amazing places that are out there waiting for me.
putting the cold down, slipping my walkin' shoes on, and off to check out a few
new places on the road...