my ray gun

i had a visual this morning.

i was in an area that felt kinda like a subway. kinda cave-like, dark,
with people milling about. some rushing by.

it was the world. it was life.
and i was in the dark.
but i was there on purpose.
it wasn't that i was feeling dark inside.
it was that i wanted to be there to bring a light.

i wanted to light it up a bit.

i wanted to help the ones who were in the dark.

so i had my candle.

it was this candle full of character. a nice drippy waxy kinda one.
in one of those old fashioned kinda holders. the kind that you could
hold  and walk with...they have that little loop you hold on to.
one of those.

so i'm standing there, tryin' to light up a little darkness and people who aren't stuck in the dark,
who are moving quickly and who are self absorbed and unaware bump into me -
knocking the candle right outta the holder.

they never look back, never say excuse me, just whiz on by. leaving this kinda selfish
film in the air. adding darkness to the dark.

i bend down, pick up the candle, dust it off, re-light it, and try again.

and again, someone totally self absorbed comes bumpin' into me and knocking the
candle to the ground.

sigh.

over and over i try.

and i'm gettin' a little discouraged.

and a bit weary of these self absorbed people.

and that's when i saw something.

i saw the people bumping into me weren't stuck in the darkness, they were moving fast
and they kept going...but they were carrying their own darkness. they had the take-out version.
and they traveled with it.

they were different than the ones stuck in the real black stuff who were havin' trouble getting up.
they were totally different....and yet....they were havin' their own dark deal.

i just didn't see it because they were moving along.

those people didn't even see the candle, they wouldn't hear any words i mumbled.
they had already passed.

and my mumbling words wouldn't have been very helpful anyway.  they've been pretty negative.

but what if i stopped mumbling those words?
what if i shot a little zap of light into their portable darkness??
they don't even have to know it.
what is this stuff about energy? and the power of it?

i believe in that stuff. i really do.

and so the visual changed.

i've got a candle in one hand, and slung over my shoulder is my little ray gun.
it's golden with hearts all over it. and it shoots stars.

it's my shooting star ray gun.
it shoots stars and star rays!

go ahead, bump into me.
knock my candle to the ground.
i'll zap you with my ray gun.

cause i can.

and you'll never know what hit you.

i want to light up the darkness.

all different kinds.

and i think i just forgot there were so many different kinds...