slow dancing with life....

at the heart of this 'awakening' of mine is picking up the magic again.

no.
no.
no.

that's not right.

at the heart of it is trusting myself to pick up the magic again.

and i guess there comes a time when you want something bad enough,
you'll trust yourself if that's the only way you can get it.
or maybe you're ready for it and that's what spurs on the wanting it.
who knows?

i just know that i said i was in.
i wanted to do more than notice the magic.
i wanted to dance with it again.

i missed my dancing partner so much.

and then as if my dancing partner was telling me it had missed me too,
my day lit up with magic everywhere.

when i got the call from a shop owner/friend who i haven't heard from in ages,
i just kinda glanced up acknowledging life. of course she'd call today.

she had been on her own rough ride and i knew that. and there she was,
having no idea what was going on inside of me, she went on and on of the
miraculous things that had happened in her own process. she's one of the
best trusters of magic i've ever known, and without knowing what she was
doing for me, she went on a magic rant, placed the biggest order she's ever
placed and was off again.

i hung up my phone and shook my head.
of course.
of course.

it's here, all around you, ter. it's here.
dance with it.

and slowly, a bit creaky at first, i stepped both my feet back in the dance.

we had one of the best business days we've had all year, and even tho i was
fighting yet another cold, i had one of the best days inside of me i've had in
ages.

i hadn't felt this happy since i got engaged.

hmmmmm......

i AM thinking of this as a relationship with life.
maybe life and i just got engaged.

cause i tell ya, i feel pretty darn thrilled about it all.
and have another day ahead of me to dance.
funny thing is, i'm kinda quiet. maybe it's the cold i'm fighting, maybe it's the depth
of what's goin' on inside of me....but it feels kinda right too.

quiet dancing....slow dancing....cause it has been awhile.
and i just want to kinda savor it a bit here....