a friend and i were just talking about how we look back at who we used to be
and are amazed we did some of the things we did, allowed the things we did,
and didn't set a the boundaries that we needed to.
we didn't know.
and we're amazed that we didn't know.
how could we not know?
we also commented that we see that in friends around us and we understand
now that you'll know when you know. and that when you're not ready, it
doesn't matter what someone else says to you. you have to find it yourself.
this thought echoed in my mind when i realized i wasn't intimidated by some
of the people i used to be intimidated by.
it's odd that it was hard for me to see that i wasn't.
i think it shows how much i operate in 'past mode.'
if i was intimidated before, then i'm gonna be intimidated again.
i just assume. and i have to actually make time to figure out
that's not the case.
that's past mode.
certainly not present mode.
cause i've changed.
and i'm stronger.
and i see their issues along with mine.
and i don't see them as better any more.
i see them as human as i am.
and a lotta times, i see them stuck.
and i remember i don't want to be stuck.
i don't feel intimidated anymore.
and in all this thinking about what's the point of life, and living love
and all that stuff....being intimidated by people with issues, just doesn't
learning from them does.
i can learn how to love.
how to offer love and kindness, i can learn how not to be stuck,
the importance of letting go and moving on...all kindsa things...
and i think that's the coolest thing.
past mode isn't good enough any more.
i want something that's moving me forward.