Friday, December 16, 2011

adding magic to the list

i saw this article yesterday...i'll post it at the end here......
about strangers helping to pay people's lay-aways at kmart.
they were goin' for the lay-aways for toys for the kids for christmas.

it's a great article. i just kept reading and nodding and crying.

this morning as i sat outside sayin' goodmorning to the world,
i thought about it.
and i thought about my christmases that i've been on my own with the guys.

every single year i wondered how i'd manage it.
and miraculously, every year i pulled it off.
and i remember when i'd figure out i could swing it,
the tears would come and i'd think 'i can give them christmas.'
and this whole wave of emotion would just flood over me.

so this article totally got to me.

i sat and remembered those years.

i got so grateful for how we made it thru, that the tears just sprung
right up. we really made it thru on our own. and quite honestly,
it makes no sense at all that we did. it makes no sense. i knew it
then, and i know it now.

this year's prolly one of the tightest ever money wise. but they're
grown up now. they're okay with that. they really are. and i'm getting
more and more okay with it. and it helped to remember where we've
been. it helped to remember that it made no sense how we pulled it off.
it helped to remember that it was filled with magic and miracles and
i would just laugh and nod when they showed up. of course! the miracle's here!

of course! the miracle's here!

that's a pretty darn awesome way to look at stuff.

and i lost that somewhere along the line.
which is amazing as i experienced it over and over again.

well, all this christmas music with the miracles runnin' thru all of them,
and little stories like this one i found yesterday, and remembering all that
i've lived thru......i'm thinking i'm back in the mood to pick that stuff up again.

it's kinda interesting to me as i've been workin' on 'festive' and 'laughter'
and i think those things actually open the doors to the magic....
or at least if sure feels like it......

so now the list for me is festive, laughter AND magic!
tis the season!

you can read the article here...

No comments: