Thursday, December 15, 2011

a few tweaks and i'll have it!

the guys have decided to run in the mornings.
they came up with it to be out there with me.
which, yes, is really really really sweet.
i haven't joined them as i don't want them to do this for me.
they really never have been big into going out early.
and they don't need one more thing to do for me.
i figure i might join them if they keep it up long term.
and i'm thinking the chances aren't too big with january coming.
so this morning was my first morning to try my own new thing.

i watched them from the living room window.
they stood at the end of the driveway getting all set.
they're young....they can't do this without electronics.
they were taking so long, i finally jogged out there in my shorts
and tee shirt (i was getting read to get on my indoor bike)...
i teased them and jogged around at the bottom of the driveway
telling them 'it's easy, you just move forward.'

as i jogged back in the house, this gorgeous breeze hit me.
oh man.
talk about tugging at my heart.
seriously, i thought i might burst into tears all over again.

'stop it, terri. it's not like you can't go outside. jeesh.'

i went in and blasted the music and got on my bike.

i thought of something someone had wrote me earlier and
how it made me realize how much i do have. how i had to really
see what i had.

so i biked along, looking at the sky out the window.
i thought of how i could see it. how i had the eyes to see it.
and i bugged them out wide and played with my eyes and the sky
as i biked along. grinning cause i also had the gift of play.

then i felt my legs pedaling and how they had the
strength to do that....and i just kept goin' into the gratitude thing.

i have sooooooo much.
even the's such a treasure.
bob got it for me, and it's just the most awesome bike ever.
he even got me tassels for the handlebars!

i squeezed the bike handles tight and thought about how great the
bike was....

so many good things, so much love.

i found myself leaning way into the wall so i could see the pink
and purple down the way a bit in the sky.

and i figured out that if i biked a little bit earlier, then i could
go sit on the porch, cool off, and watch the morning wake up!

now we're talking!

i finished up and decided the porch idea was a good one. i grabbed
a jacket and plopped down on my little front stoop.

woe. great view of the sky, i thought.
then i slapped my head and laughed.
that's because they cut down my oak tree, i thought.
i just shook my head.

i so didn't want them to cut that tree.
it made me cry when they did.

but there was the sky.
big as day (i had to say that!!!)
and it was a treat to sit there and just be with it.

and that's when it hit me......
the theme i've been mullin' around with for a few months now......
the idea that life is hard.
it just is.
and life is good.
it just is.
and it's one heck of a mixture.
and if i stop fighting the hard and just know it's part of the deal,
i'll just be more comfortable with life.
and i'll be able to live more.

it hit me right there on my stoop.

i've been watching this, believing it, and holding it. it is.
right in my face. my time to put it into practice.

i smiled up at the sky.
i'm in.

then i grabbed my jacket and headed back to my day.

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