Friday, December 30, 2011

the infamous clipboard....

this morning, in my head, i could see my dad standing there
with his clip board, asking me if i've figured out my goals for
the new year.

that was his thing. goals and a clipboard.
and he was cute about it. and he was totally serious about it.

what an interesting visual for me this morning.
cause i've been workin' really hard on my business goals,
but it's my inner child part that's screaming at me right now to
pay attention.

and there's my dad with the clipboard.
seemed kinda interesting to me that visual popped up this morning.
i guess it's too late to climb up in his lap and ask him to
put seeing me and loving me as his goal. would i ever have had the nerve
anyway? probably not.
and that's the deal.
but i'm here.
so what do i put on my clipboard?
i'm the one here for that part of me that needs seeing and loving.
it's my job now.

i'm very aware of the new year coming up.
i heard myself on all the holiday calls with friends and family asking
me about business. it's been on my mind, and it pours out when asked.

no one asked how my inner child was doin'.
and what a great question that would be!
i have to remember to ask other people that.

so i turn to this list - filled with business ideas and goals.
and oh yeah, the personal ones are on there that i like to keep
in mind - the healthy eating and exercising....

but doggone it, there hasn't been one thing for little terri.
and i gotta say, it hasn't been the smoothest season for that part of me.

which may be good.
cause she's carryin' on something fierce inside.
and maybe, just maybe that part of me should be top of the list on
that ol' clipboard. maybe dancing with her and playing with her
and loving her the way i've wanted others to - maybe THAT'S
what should be on top, ya know?


why hadn't that even entered my mind?
cause i think that sooooooo needs to be there.

it's new years. and unlike a lotta others, i really DO like the resolution
idea. i really do like the goals and the shooting for things. i always have.
i like the fresh start and the trying again and all that stuff. i like the memory
of my dad and his clipboard and his lists and his talking pros and cons with
me. i think he even had different kindsa goals he'd talk about. you know,
some are easier than others and some you may not make but it's good to
try for....that kinda thing.....goals were  a whole science to that man. and
i got his love for them. i really did.

altho, i can picture him cringing with the whole inner child thing.
and it makes me laugh. that wouldn't have been okay to put on the list.
and maybe there's some secret glee in that too....cause she's goin' on
the list big time.

and today i'm gonna spend some time figuring out just how that's gonna work.

it's a new year. it's a gift to be held with gratitude and respect.
and for me, it's a gift to do all i can with.
and that's the mood i'm goin' with as i grab my pen and paper.........
and maybe a crayon or two too.

1 comment:

Susie said...

I still say your gonna need that great big roll of butcher paper, cuz little terri's gonna wanna color and draw too....She might even want you to outline all the way around her body for her so she can see how much she's grown over the past year. That could be some serious fun...