my lynnie

traffic was a bear. we got caught in some pretty slow stuff.
rushing up the steps, into the mansion, the ladies greeted us
with smiles and told us we hadn't missed much, but we had
to wait for the song to finish before we went in.

we stood on the other side of the doors listening to her sing.
my friend whispered 'i love this song!' and started to quietly
sing along. i grinned at the lady who was keeping us out, we
were obviously groupies.

it took all i had to stand there politely and wait. if she only knew
what i really wanted to do was elbow her to the ground, step
over her with a 'so there!' leap, and barge in and holler to my friend
who was singing 'we made it!! we're here!!!'
but in a moment, the applause started. feeling like a kid waiting
to go find the presents at christmas, i looked at the lady with eyes
begging to be allowed to go thru those doors.

slipping in, grabbing two seats at the back table, i scooted my chair
for the best view possible.

the lights were on her perfectly. and she was beautiful.

the first few moments i had to take in her beauty.
it was like i had to soak that in before i could tune in to the music.
she was talking at this point, so i could kinda settle right in and
just look at her.

she's tall and thin, and her hair is now sprinkled with gray. i noticed her hair.
she's wearing it shorter these days, it hugs her face in such a way
that you're just drawn into her. she was shining.

standing there with such grace and confidence, she began to sing.

wow, she so began to sing.

there's something that happens to her when she performs.
and i'm not sure she'll ever see it, because how can you see this
stuff with your self? but it's one of the most inspiring things ever for
me to watch.

you see, i know her pretty well. she's my 'let's cry over tea' partner.
i know a lot of the 'stuff' that whirls around inside of her, as she knows mine.
and all the stuff i know about, all the things she works on and struggles with,
well.....they aren't up on stage with her.

it's like she takes all that stuff and leaves it outside. and then, when she
sings and plays her guitar, what you get is her. not the stuff - but her.
and is there anything more beautiful than that?

thing is....and i've been thinking about this...she leaves the 'stuff' outside....
and yet - it's all the dealing with the stuff - the facing the fears, the wrestling
the demons, the holding the hurts - all the things we have to do with the
stuff that hits us that has polished her soul so bright.

so you get this soul who's radiant because of that stuff she's left at the door.

isn't that the coolest thing???

and there she is - radiant. offering everything inside of her.

it brings me to tears every time i watch and hear her.

i'm always tellin' her i love how she bellows out her songs.
that's probably not the most graceful way for me to tell her that the
strength and complete fullness of who she is comes out when she sings,
and knocks me over again and again.

and it's not just me being knocked over.....the whole room was being blown away.

she sings a song that my other friend wrote.
my other friend is sitting next to me when lynn announces she'll play it.
i swell with pride that these two incredible women are my 'let's cry over tea'
friends. how lucky am i? what two incredibly talented women i get to
hang out with.

and this is one of my favorite songs.
lynn launches into it with such power...and the lyrics remind me so much of
what the three of us talk about with each other - the journey, the becoming more,
the bravery that we don't recognize in ourselves...

the tears come again. i realize my whole being is locked into lynn's performance.
and i am filled with the feeling of wanting to be more.

i try to tell her at the end....when it's all over....i try to tell her 'you make me want
to become more.'

like what's a person 'sposed to say to that??
and how do i explain it?

how do i explain that i watch her put her life stuff down and offer all of who she is.
i watch her lose herself in the moment, and absolutely shine with all that is inside of
her - and i want to do that.

and somehow, i think, without even really knowing it, everyone in that room felt that way.
she ended with john lennon's song, 'imagine.' and asked everyone to sing along.
and everyone did. everyone did. i couldn't believe it. and i listened. i didn't want to sing,
i wanted to hear her with everyone....i wanted to hear what was going on.

i sat and listened, and sang a tiny bit here and there, but mostly just held the energy
in the room. somehow everyone was feeling something similar to what i was feeling.
maybe they'd describe it differently, maybe they'd just say it was a great show and
she's got one heck of a voice...but i truly believe everyone felt something that i felt.

because you can't offer your soul like that without it affecting people.

and seriously, just how cool is that?

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