Thursday, December 22, 2011

perspectives and sunrises...

it was dark and rainy.
driving home i thought of how the intentions and focusing don't make
everything all rosy.

nah, they don't.
things still happen that sting and feel bad.
i still wrestle with disappointment.

but it gives me something to actively do with all that.

the disappointment that things don't go just like i want -
take that part -
what about the 'twisty turns' i added to my christmas list?
what about how things twist and turn and go ways i can't
even think of? what about it's a ride that works better when
i don't hang on too tight and i let it take me instead of trying
to force the other way around?

so i drove and felt a little better.
i thought okay, focus where it matters, keep it all in perspective.

it gives me something to do and to head for.

and then i rounded the corner to my neighborhood.
up at the top of the street where i'd turn were a buncha flashing
lights and cars backed up.

my stomach got sick.
i had tried to call noah a few minutes back down the road
and he didn't answer.
i detoured into another neighborhood to turn around, grabbed
my cell and called zakk.

he answered.
they were fine.

i hung up the phone, took a deep breath and detoured into
the back way into my neighborhood wondering who wasn't
fine at the top of my street, and feeling the whole perspective
thing sink right in to a deeper level.

i'm a little worn out this morning.
but i know places to go to rejuvenate, starting with the sunrise.
just from my front stoop....that's enough for this morning.

it's choices, ter.
i'm gonna start with the sunrise and go from there.

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