Wednesday, December 14, 2011

surprised by the amount of tears!

interestingly enough, i can't seem to stop crying about my walks.

i'm actually surprising myself.

yeah, i thought i'd cry a little bit, but every time i think about it,
i cry.  i just told bob about it for the first time minutes ago,
he was unavailable yesterday and i thought that would be good
as it would give me a chance to get a grip and be a big girl about it.
and sure enough - i just couldn't even get the first word out without crying.

wow.
so much for being a big girl.

c'mon ter, it's just morning walks.

you can walk. you're healthy. you have a love of the sky.
all that is what matters.

i guess there's more tho. along with just feeling bad about the
stuff goin' on in the neighborhood. that's hard to see too.

so there's a lot entangled for me.
and yeah, it makes me sad.

but adapting is the key.

i remember just a little bit ago i heard the phrase 'adapt or die.'
i prolly blogged about it. it tickled me and i sooooo related.

it's one heck of a phrase, isn't it?
or how about the one i just hung up on my fridge -
'let go or be dragged.'

okay.
okay.

okay.

i'm gonna have to get a new routine down.
and i think it may affect the blog posting. i may change that now.
we'll see what happens.


i'm reminded of another time i felt sad like this......
when they took my trees.....

i wrote this -


they plowed down her trees and she wept.
they forgot to take the sky tho.
the clouds became her refuge.



they can't take my sky. i've still got that.



2 comments:

Brigitte / La de Ojos Azules said...

I so wish I could express it like you, the sadness, the pain, the raw emotion... no matter how hard I try it either all stays bottled up, or it doesn't come out anywhere near as open and honest as you. I'm sure you have n idea just how much good this does to all of us, living your trials with you, being there, feeling it with you, and knowing that if you can get through it all, well, maybe so can we. Thank you Terri, you truly are amazing :)

terri said...

brigitte, you are so kind. thank you...