Monday, December 19, 2011

twisty turns

bam! she's flat on her back in awe.

i finally went to sleep. (see post below)

and then i had a really gory icky nightmare.

my experience with those has been that they're worth looking at even
tho i want to squeeze my eyes shut and pretend they never happened.

and so i made my bed and thought about it.
and sure enough.....i gasped when i figured out parts of it.
just gasped.

and i saw how much there was going on inside of me about certain things
in my life. and before i could even wrap my head around it all,
i found myself writing about it to a stranger. to someone who had
ordered a bone sigh for the first time...and because of a snag with her
order, we ended up writing each other a few notes.

what was in my dream related to something she told me.

and the tears came to my eyes.

because i saw all this hard stuff inside of me isn't bad.
it's not bad.
it's the stuff that helps me understand the pain of others.

it's the stuff that urges me to share my feelings about not letting
the dark's the stuff that drives my wanting to offer light.

it was amazing......when i got up this morning, i reminded myself i wanted
festive this season, and that i had a choice to turn to festive. and i was good
with that and ready to do that, even tho i was feelin' a bit shakey.
and then this whole dream interpretation and sharing with someone i didn't know
took place......

i hadn't even been up half an hour, and i realized festive was gonna be easy
today. because within half an hour the connections we all have, the amazing
twists and spins of the universe, and the callings of my heart were blazing all
around me and reminding me that life was truly incredibly stunning. even with
the icky stuff scattered all around.

it's gonna be one heck of a day.
because i remember the glory of it is mine for the taking........

so i think i want to add to my list -
what's turning out to be my own version of the 12 days of christmas -

there's festivity, laughter, magic, appreciation of others, grief, and today's -
twisty turns.

the twisty turns of never ever know where they'll bring you.

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