epic

sometimes i just feel happy with us. and i just see how good we are for
each other. and how with the deep down stuff, we really are so alike. even
tho everything on our surface is way way different.

and sometimes i feel so frustrated and yeah, hurt.
or unseen. or something that feels really hard to get thru.

and these feelings go back and forth up and down and all around.

but there's something that happens when we work thru the hard stuff that
is beyond either the good or the hard - and i get a grin on my face as i
search for the right word and come up with 'epic.'

yeah.
i laugh.
it's epic.

there are moments i think that no one has ever experienced a love like this.
and yeah, i laugh at myself.
cause doesn't everyone feel like that when they're in love with someone?

but no, no, this is different, i argue.
and the i laugh again.
doesn't everyone argue that?
yeah.
silly grin.
i think they do.

so, how about this? for my life, my experiences, my existence on this planet
so far, what's between this guy of mine and me is epic.

and that doesn't mean it's easy. it's ever flowing into wonderful things.
ohmygosh, not by a long shot.
it means we are so incredibly human, flawed, and wounded and thru all
that stuff that we drag along with us, we so want to touch the love. and
together, in moments when it just doesn't seem like it will happen, it does.

that's the part that's epic.

we have all those really good, happy moments where you touch love.
the easy parts. we have those too.
but in the moments that hurt, that confuse, that open up the wounds and
make you bleed again....those moments where you don't think love can
really be.....we find it.

we find it. and we offer it. and we return it. and we become it.
it is those moments that our love is epic.

and in reflecting on that this morning, i am reminded of the dance between
darkness and light. it's so much deeper than i can understand. but i'm
starting to watch and see and accept that it's deeper than i know.