searching together

because of bone sighs, and just my personality in general,
i tend to talk to a lotta people about what's goin' on inside of them.
i thought that the big thing for me to pay attention to there is balance.
and it really is a big thing to pay attention to.
more than once i've crumbled under the weight of it all.
so i try to pay a lot more attention these days.

but as i get ready to step into some serious talks with a guy
who thinks so differently than i do, and is someone i just so wish
i could wave a wand for and make things better...i realize that
there's another thing equally as important as balance for me to remember -
and that's trust in the each person's process.

i very much want to head into this conversation with, 'look,
this is what i see. it's really obvious. if you just see this, it'll all
be okay.'

oh, yeah.......that's helpful.
like that'll go far.

so as i got on the treadmill this morning, i thought about it.
i just want to 'fix it' for him. and i know that's gonna do him
no good at all if i bring that attitude to the table.

so what attitude should i bring?

how about a trust in his process.
wouldn't that also be a big trust in him?
i do that with some of my women friends easily.
they may be going thru the hardest stuff of their lives, but i can stand
on the side and watch cause i believe in them and their process.
i know they're going where they need to go.

so i thought about that and why the difference in feeling this time.
and i have reasons and answers to that.....but doesn't matter...
cause i think the best thing i can hand him is the trust.
and truth is, i'm not sure how much i have here.

and so once again, reaching out to someone else helps me in my
own process. amazing how that works.
because noticing a lack of trust is a big thing.
figuring out why and working with that is a big thing.
growing your trust is a big thing.

something i wanted to work on this year was noticing how i worked -
how i reacted, when i trust, when i don't, why i do the things i do.
cause that seems to be necessary to understand in order to make the real
changes i want to make inside.

i smiled when i got to all this. cause something i've noticed about
these conversations i have. it's the ones where i'm searching and growing
as well that bring in the magic.

sitting down to learn together gets a whole lot further than 'look, here's
the answer.' which works well cause even when i think i have the answers,
oooops, i missed something. and besides, searching together is a whole
lot more fun.

pass the tea, we have talking to do....