the gold

she has one of the backgrounds that people tend to have who come thru
bone sigh arts - rough. and not just rough, but prolonged rough. you know?
where the abuse continues over a long period of time. where the family background
was no picnic. you guys know those stories, many of you live those stories.

what i'm forever amazed with is watching women take that pain, those wounds,
scars, hurts and turn them around into some kinda offerings for other people.
i see that a lot and nod when i see it. cause i know those women are healing.
i know they'll be healing for a lifetime, and i know that feels so slow to them,
but i also know they WILL be healing.

there's something about offering it to others, helping others heal that helps you heal.
not sure why, just have witnessed it enough to be a believer.

the fates have given me a gift with this particular woman. they've allowed me to
watch part of her process, and the beginnings of her offering. she's working on
opening a woman's center.

the guys and i got to get a bit of a tour yesterday. she's still getting it all together,
but noah and i have been in on some of the stuff, so we got to go check it out.

i have NEVER seen a place like this. i've been to plenty of counseling offices,
women's centers, and helping places before, and nothing comes close to the
beauty of this place. the energy of it.

she told me some of the plans, and i keep thinking of what gold she is offering.
how many women will be touched by this. how many lives will be affected. and
i keep thinking of how perfect this woman is for this offering. how i don't think
anyone could do a better job.

and here's the thing - it's because of all she's been thru, all she understands because
of that, and who she become as she's traveled.

i sat there looking at her, remembering a time in my life when i figured out that
the things that had happened to me formed the life i have now. and i remember the
first time i ever really realized it, and the feeling of gratitude that washed over me.

i thought of all she'd been thru, all she's still going thru, all she'll struggle with forever.

how can we feel gratitude for all that pain?
maybe it's not for the pain......i guess it's for where it brought us and continues to bring us.
but it's hard to separate the whole deal.

and it's moments like that, sitting there in a healing place, looking at a woman who's
beauty just shimmers, feeling all she is about to offer, knowing all she's been thru -
it's moments like that when i get a glimpse of the miracle part of being human.

there's these fleeting moments where i can see that this journey thru life truly is miraculous.
and all the dirt and grime and dust and ashes can't hide the gold. maybe it does for
a little bit, but it can't forever. and when that gold glimmers, my gosh, it just knocks
me to my knees.

the gift of being human - there's so much to it all.
and yesterday i was reminded in a big time way of the gold of the journey.