i wasn't expecting it.
innocently walked into it.
altho, i shoulda seen it coming.
i really shoulda.
but i didn't.
and i got sad.
one of those deep sads that you just can't shake.
i kept working and doing my thing, and talking and that kinda stuff.
but the sad was weighing in there heavy.
it was filled with the pain of the world. but it was more than that.
it was what we do to ourselves and each other. how we spend so
much of our time here creating misery or accepting misery that can
be changed.or just plain ol' not looking at things and then hurting so
much because of that.
i quit a few minutes early so i could unwind a bit before he got here.
i put on some opera music. i don't know much about opera music,
or what's good or what's not, but i put on one song that just moves me
and then kept on goin' with it.
i closed my eyes and let the sadness of humanity swirl thru me.
i just released into it. my feelings were finding voices that understood.
and it felt good.
and when he got here, i just so wanted to sit in a spot of love for a bit.
where there wasn't a buncha pain and hurt and darkness. but where there
was love and caring and light.
he was just what i needed.
i looked into those marvelous eyes of his.
and saw a good good person.
a person who does the work to see what's goin' on.
a person who wants to concentrate on what matters and is strong and healthy
on the inside. just a plain ol' good guy.
i just needed to see that in person. in the eyes.
i just needed to get lost in those eyes a bit.
i've needed him for a lotta things over the years, but this time was just a bit
different. i needed him to remember the good stuff of humanity. i needed him
to be a place to hold on to and remember. and i so did.
and i've been thinking about that this morning.
i don't care if it's your partner, your best friend or whoever....
we all need someone like that.
someone who's eyes remind us of goodness.
someone who's eyes can bring us rest.