finally releasing......

i thought for sure i'd sleep like a log last nite.
a lot's calmed down inside of me, i feel better about a lotta things,
i've figured out some insights and i'm holding them and looking at them.

sleep time, right?

once again the bad nite's sleep peppered with really odd dreams.
one was so odd and when i rolled over after having it i remember thinking,
okay every person in that dream was a part of me.
(which isn't the most comforting thought either)
guess i'll have to go back and check that one out!

i started out bummed that i hadn't slept better. but i figured it just means
it's time to totally totally take care of me. i canceled my plans this evening,
and decided on a day/evening wrapping myself in the peace of my home.

i do feel better about stuff, and i know there's big changes coming and i
even know i'll do good. i'm okay with everything's that's been churning inside of me.
and i'm okay with the stuff that hurt so deeply at the beginning of the week.
cause i know that's part of it all.

so after a whole lotta inner stuff, this morning i let it all go.
maybe i just got too tired. i have no idea.
but i release it.
it's all i got inside of me right now.......just the ability to release.
and i'm just gonna take gentle care of me.

funny how i have to get the 'release' part beat into me.
why oh why couldn't i just get that part down in the beginning?
it woulda been sooooo much easier.

whatever the case, i feel better today than i have in a bit here.....
sleepy and all.
and i'm taking it.