perspective

it was one of the best days i've had in ages...
really solid good day.

one of the highlights was walking in the dark along the walking trail
with josh and bob. there's water by the trail so there were ducks coming
in for the nite, frogs singin' away and even beavers crossing from one side
of the trail to another.....
we were all whispering back and forth, trying not to make much noise
and in total awe of what was goin' on around us.

it was magic and it was peaceful and it was the most centered i'd felt in days.

i woke up this morning uncentered once again and gettin' real tired of it.

and then....i found out one of the women i mentioned last week in the
appreciating women/international women's day post has died.

she's my age.
single mom.
struggled hard to help her son thru some rough times.
and proudly announced to all her buds recently that he had gotten
a full scholarship to college.

and i found out this morning that she's gone.

it wasn't expected. no life threatening illness.
i honestly have no idea how it happened.
i'm still trying to find out.

i just know she's gone.

i've known her since the sixth grade.
that's where we met.

i still remember celebrating her 13th birthday with her.

we reconnected on facebook, and we egged each other on in
in our projects and didn't miss a chance to shout encouragement
to each other.

and she's gone.

i'm stunned.

and perspective came slamming into my face this morning.

the stuff about what matters in life.
the stuff about appreciating all that you have.
the stuff like 'i'm here, and i can go sit in the dirt in my garden
and look up at the sky and be here.'

that stuff.

so i did.
i went and sat in the dirt.

i looked back at my kooky little house and thought of how
stressed i was over some of the projects.

shoot. who cares?

i thought of all the stuff i was uncentered about.
okay, ter......time to get a grip.

i'm goin' back to that walking trail in just a bit here.
i'm gonna go soak it in.
it's a beautiful beautiful place.

and i'm gonna think of my friend and hold her in my heart
and cry a little bit.

cause i can just not get used to how we're here one minute
and not the next.