trusting the differences

it used to unnerve me when i'd tell him something close to my heart and he'd joke.
i'd feel like he didn't 'get it' or was makin' fun of me or whatever....

silly girl.
i just didn't trust him or it or us or everything....

thing is, no one understands me like he does.
and he 'gets it' in a moment. whereas it takes me paragraphs.

so last nite when he joked, i laughed.
and i snuggled into his arms.
trusting.

for me, that's a huge story.
it's a long road of learning about each other,
sharing, seeing, understanding. building trust.

i think one of the most important things i've learned from this guy of mine is
that just because someone reacts really differently than i would,
doesn't mean their heart's in a different place. but you don't know that
unless you really look and really see.

sounds simple enough.
but i don't think it's simple at all.

cause you gotta really want to look and see.
which means you gotta drop a lotta your own stuff to do that.

it's taken me a long long time to really understand this idea.
and it's in my getting that, that i've grown the best relationship i have
ever had in my life (outside of my kids of course.)

two people can look very different on the outside. but it's getting past
the outside and trusting the inside that changes everything. it's the
looking and the seeing that opens the space for love.

i gotta take that lesson out to the rest of my life.
cause i'm pretty sure it's all around me.
and i'm pretty sure that alotta times i'm just seeing what i want to see.
not what's really there.