Tuesday, April 17, 2012

way grateful

ha!
the little spring is back in my step!
ha!
ha!
ha!

ohmygosh, you don't know how much you miss it til you get it back.
my gosh.

i care again.
i care about life again.

i care about being healthy again.

i mean, i care in my heart. not just my head.
feels like it's been all just my head for a bit here.
but my heart is alive again.

a ton of it is getting healthy, gaining my strength back, feeling much stronger.

but that's not all of it.

a lot of it is being loved back into life.

and i wanted to acknowledge that this morning.

i am so blessed by this darn goofy guy in my life.
no one has ever loved me like he has.

to have someone just hold on to you while you feel like you're slipping away.
to just hold you and stay there.
to remind you of who you are, and that who you are matters to them.

not who they need you to be. but who you are.

we were listening to the guy who wrote 'who dies' on youtube the other day.
and he (stephen levine) said a line -

'if i want you to become the least different, then you become an object in
my mind instead of the subject of my heart.'

we both kinda leaned back and made a noise over that line.
it's one heck of a line.

i truly feel like the subject of my guy's heart.
and THAT will bring anybody back to life.
what a gift.

feeling grateful to be loved back to the living.
to be getting stronger and stronger every day.
and to care with my heart again.

feelin' way way grateful.

2 comments:

Sherry said...

Hey Terri,

So I was struck by that quote of Stephen Levine's that you included here, so I had to go find the youtube and watch it...then I've been googling and reading more quotes by him...found one that talks about the heart mind thing I mentioned:

“In Chinese, the word for heart and mind is the same -- Hsin. For when the heart is open and the mind is clear they are of one substance, of one essence.”

Now I'm pondering his quotes about dying and trying to live as if we were already dead....ooo...lots of stuff to think about!

terri said...

sherry he's just totally awesome. if you haven't read 'who dies' you really want to check it out! it's truly one of my all time favorites! glad he's got you thinking! :) me too!