of course i want him to see me and know me and understand me.
of course i do. i mean, that's the POINT!
but when he sees me and knows me and understands me more than i do sometimes,
well that freaks me out just a little.
and i squirm.
and when he knows things already that i only just discover,
that frustrates me.
either he could tell me, or i could stop being so thick and slow!
i was trying to tell him about the inner child thoughts i had been having.
how i think the 'little terri' part is way more involved in my days than i know.
he agreed. but in that way of agreeing like he already knew.
which of course i knew he couldn't.
so i challenged him.
and that's when he said that if i was totally secure in everything in my life,
little terri would be running around all the time. she would be the main part
that you saw.
'it's your insecurities that bring out the adult terri.' he said.
i have been thinking about that ever since.
i talked to one of my sons about it all, mentioning i need another term besides
'your inner child' as a lotta people just don't relate to that phrase, it's too woo woo,
or they just don't feel like they have one.
and whatever i'm talking about, i think everyone has one.
so maybe it's the part of you that comes out when you're feeling totally secure.
your true self?
would that work?
not sure really. don't think so.
wish i could come up with it.....
but whatever phrase it is.....maybe the phrase should just be 'the part of you that comes
out when you're feeling totally secure'...that part.....
don't you love that part???
don't you want to be with that part a whole lot more???
now, what the heck do i do?