a good way to start a busy week....

i was listening to my audio recording of clarissa pinkola estes
and she said something about life.
it went something like this -

'you can't say it can be easy.
but you can say it can be worth it.'

i liked that a lot.

for some odd reason, i spent a good part of my life thinking
if you 'did it right,' life could be easy.

what planet did i come from???

now i know better.
i really do.

i think i was pretty bummed about that at first.
but i think i'm getting better and better with the whole concept.

i prolly can't make this small example make sense on paper. (or screen)
but it makes sense in my head so i'm gonna try.

one of my highlights this weekend was just relaxing and eating lunch outside
with my guy.

it was a beautiful day, we were just talking, and the lunch was extra fun
cause i owed it from a bet i had lost so there was teasing and goofin' involved.

some of the stuff we talked about was hard stuff.
hard topics.
not stuff between us.
but stuff that coulda gotten between us.
easily.
would have before.
but it didn't.
and i noticed it.
i noticed how honest we were, how good we were getting at
expressing ourselves so the other could understand. and how
much more we saw each other.

i noticed how far we had come.
and that added so much to the whole moment.

it hasn't been easy.
ohmygosh, that's for sure.
but moments like that remind me of how worth it all it really has been.

i swear there were plenty of times i wondered if all the work was worth it.
why couldn't it be easier? what was the point?

and now, when i see how much better we are together,
how deeper we've grown, how far we have traveled,
i just smile.

that's what life seems like sometimes to me.

it's so hard sometimes. i get so frustrated and wonder what's the point,
why can't it be easier?

and then there's a moment. a really good moment.
i live a moment that i can step back from and see.

and i see how far i've come, how much better i am with living,
how much deeper it's all grown....i see how good it really is.

and i know it's worth it.
way way way worth it.

and i know.....i have sooooooo far yet to travel......
if i'm lucky i'll be able to.

if i'm lucky i'll have the challenges, and the hurdles,
and the grief and the joy and the heartache and the laughter.

if i'm lucky.

and i so want to keep that in mind.

it may not be easy.
but yes, it is worth it.