his birthday!

we've known each other a long time.
in fact, i've known him since before he was born.
i guess he's known me that long as well.

when he was born he was way way way blue.
the cord had been wrapped around his neck.
if i had had any sense, i woulda been darn scared.
his dad was pretty scared.

i just saw him.
him.
i barely noticed the blue.
even tho i can still remember the color perfectly.
and i just kept saying he was so beautiful.
over and over again.
about this weird lookin' blue little guy.

he 'pinked' right up and everyone relaxed.
except me. i was still way way high with happiness
and sure he was perfect. i was flying with joy.

there was a time it was just the two of us who spent our days
together. from morning to evening when his dad got home,
it was just him and i.

we communicated so well, i forgot he hadn't yet learned to talk.

i was never ever bored. we talked about everything and shared
everything.

i think that connection has never left us.

i was given a gift when he was born.

a gift so great that it takes my breath away.

he's a man now and doesn't need mothering...
which took some getting used to.

i still have to watch that i hush up and don't mother
when i should just stand and watch. i'm getting better at it.

i was sad this year trying to get myself together for when all my sons
move out. the whole 'end of parenthood' bummed me out.

i'm better about it now.
of course, i plan on crying a bit when the guys do leave.

but this oldest of mine teaches me that it's just a whole new journey
where you get to watch them be men in the world.

i'm so proud of this young man.
just so proud of his heart and his spirit and all that he offers the world.

it's his birthday today.
we're takin' a good hunk of the day off to celebrate!
we all have to work eventually, but we're gonna grab the time that we can.

cause it matters.

celebrating each other matters.
and a gift like this guy?
i gotta celebrate big time!

happy birthday, josh.
you are one heck of a beautiful old soul....

i'm pretty sure we knew each other long before this...