keep on loving

it had happened a few times in a row,
people i cared about not seeing me,
and being less than kind.
hurting my feelings.

by the third time, i was feeling pretty sad.
i headed over to my guy's house,
crying a bit on the way over.

but i didn't want to bring it all in and lay it all
over the place, so i walked in like i was fine.
but you know how that goes....that didn't last long,
and before you know it, i was snuggled in his arms
tellin' him i was sad.

i really do love this guy.
and respect his thoughts.
so when he tells me stuff, i listen.
he talked about how the stuff that had hurt me wasn't
about me. that it was the other people's stuff.
their issues coming out.

and when i told him i had tried to step back and see
what i could learn from it, he asked me what i got.
when i told him, he encouraged me, definitely emphasized
the dangers of expectations, and reminded me again
that even tho my buttons were pushed, it wasn't about me.

i heard him.
and i knew he was right.
it was hard to untangle it.
but i knew he was right.
and it helps to hear it from him.
there's something about that where i can take it and work
with it - i guess i just trust it....
...i guess i just trust him...

and so while we ran errands, i untangled.

and untangled and untangled.

and in the untangling, i realized that what i do, what i offer,
what i try to be...is for me. not for anyone else.

and i sat and thought about that.

and scribbled some notes.

this is what i came up with......

once more

head bent in sadness

because they couldn't see,

and not understanding at first

that their blindness had nothing to do with her,

she wrapped her fingers around her heart

and held it tight.

finally, she remembered it wasn't really for them

she gave her love -

ultimately it was for her

and who she wanted to be.

releasing her fingers,

she opened her heart

and offered her love once more.

i thought that was a good message this love week......

we love for ourselves.

and we need to keep on loving.......