the first day of a very lovely month...

it's february first!

the first day of the month of love!
yes, i'm a great big fan of valentine's day....
and i like to turn the whole thing into 'love month!'

and no.....it's not because i'm fortunate enough to be in love.
which, yeah, i gotta say i am.......and that's one heck of a gift
that i'm quite thankful for...

but i was a fan long before i was in love.
in fact, i was a fan even when i wasn't sure i even believed
in romantic love anymore! so i truly don't think this holiday
has any more to do with that than any other kinda love!

 i just really think the whole idea of spreading love is really really wonderful!
and my gosh, we sure need it - all kindsa love!!!

i think the idea of thinking about love is a good idea.
like, really, what the heck is it?!
seems to me to be one of the most overused/misunderstood concepts ever.

i like the idea of loving ourselves.
of actively working on that and figuring out what that means
and how to do it.

i like a ton of stuff about the idea of a month of love!

and i like that it starts the day after zakk's birthday.
i know that the days of just kicking back the whole day and celebrating him
are numbered....like um....maybe over entirely.

but i had this one......and i took it!

it was more mellow than usual as josh is getting over the flu,
noah has a cold, and i'm getting over a cold. zakk was the only
healthy one sitting in a sick ward....

and yet, we managed to have a great time!

usually the laughter and craziness is such a joy to me and i see the love there.
but because this one was so much quieter and more mellow, i saw the
love in a different way. in a gentle caring way. and it filled the day.

there was no arguing, or rough words, there was always someone asking someone
else 'can i get you something? or 'how are you feeling?' there's no hesitation
in one brother telling the other brother he's proud of him, and there's always
a looking out for each other. there was the birthday smaltzyness towards my son,
with him returning it to me. there was gratitude, and appreciation. there was
patience and kindness. and no matter how mellow, there's ALWAYS teasing.

there was the phone call from my guy who had to work late.
there was the stopping of everything so i could talk with him as i was a bit worried
about him and we all wanted to hear how he was.
there was the relief in hearing his happy voice.

just listening to his voice made me smile. and pause the conversation
 so i could remind him that i loved him and missed him....

there was the hanging up and heading back to hanging out with my sons.
who were just waiting for the celebrating to continue...

that kinda day just has a real good haze hovering over it.

it was a day packed full of love.
a quiet, good, gentle love.
it's a life packed full of love.
all kinds of love.
even the love stuff that's work and exhausting....
even that stuff........it's all in there.

and i'm so looking forward to honoring love for the month ahead!

love.....how do we grow it? how do we care for it? how do we treasure it?
how do we even know what it is?
is it about giving it or getting it or both?
is it about seeing each other for real and dropping our baggage?
there's so much to this stuff.....
and i really think it matters to be asking and pondering and watching and
holding and offering and appreciating!
here's to a month of honoring all kinds of love!
and here's to a month of gratitude for that love!