transitions and transformations

i had recommended a book to a friend not too long ago.
'awakening at midlife' by kathleen brehony.

i had read it years ago when i was in the middle of a mid-life crisis.
or as kathleen puts it - a mid-life awakening.

and no, i didn't realize i was in one til the book was in my hands
and i found myself nodding along with big eyes thinking 'oh yes,
this is it. this is what's going on.'

that's how i figured it out.
i'm so quick.

and for anyone feeling lost and out of sorts and just not quite right -
you may want to check it out. i found it very helpful.
just to not feel so alone was a big help!

having suggested it to her, and having been so long since i read it,
i pulled it off the shelf to browse thru and remember.

ohmygosh.
i kept stopping at different pages and nodding all over again.

wait a minute, terri, you already did this.
you already went thru the mid-life thing.

let's not do it again, i grinned.

but i think there may always be shifts goin' on that will feel very
similar to those feelings i had a few years back.

because i think those shifts happen as we change and grow.

i read this and totally wanted to share -

'the process of transformation, as we let go of of what was in order to
usher in what can be, is agonizing. In the midst of the stripping pain we can
easily lose sight of the fact that we are struggling for the incandescent beauty
and perspective of the butterfly. without the realization of what we are becoming,
the enormous losses of what we appear to be letting go of can be overwhelming,
frightening, and foreign. ....
   the internal work that is going on within the chrysalis requires looking honestly
at ourselves and our lives. unencumbered by our habitual defenses, our shadow
and other unconscious material rush to the surface of awareness. if we are to be
reborn it is necessary to let go of our false assumptions about ourselves. something
has to die. if we are to experience the grace and the flight of the butterfly we have to
let go of the anchors which keep us moored to our illusions.'

sigh.
sigh.
sigh.

and the thing is?
i don't think this stops.

if we're lucky.
this won't stop.

i gotta remember that........if i'm lucky, this won't stop.