Thursday, May 30, 2013

friendships and spaces

it was one of those really cool moments.
a 'that's the beauty of friendship' moments.

i hadn't heard from him in awhile.
i knew he was mulling over a big decision.
and he kept going back and forth.
i had thought of him many times wondering where he was with it all,
but left him be, figurin' he'd call when he was ready.

and there he was.
'well??' i asked.

he was still as muddled as before it turns out.
just can't figure it out.
but this time there was this space between us -
a good space where we could hear.
i guess the time in between calls had created it...
well, and we did too.
we had been workin' on creating that space for years between us.
and the way he worded his thoughts caught my attention.
we talked for just a few minutes about it before we hit on something together.

a solution!

we talked about it.
tweaked it.
then talked some more, did some figurin' and tweaked it again.

perfect! we agreed.

now, of course, i know there's a chance it changes again.
grinnin' at the thought here.......
which is perfectly okay too.

but i'm thinking it won't.

i think he was finally ready to make a decision.......
and it happened in that open space between us.
and i think maybe he was looking for that.

open spaces.
they're harder to get than we think.

that whole topic has been whispering in my mind lately.
how spaces can make room for healing to take place,
decisions can be made,
stuck movement can become unstuck -
how it's so important to make spaces for each other,
to recognize spaces, and to step into them when we have them.
and why they're so hard to get/give.
how there's a million reasons we don't give them - expectations,
needs, filters, assumptions, fatigue, laziness, just not thinking....
all kindsa stuff stop us from offering them. or from understanding
how to offer them. and how they're important enough to stop
and think about.

while he got his answer he was looking for,
i got something too...
an affirmation about the spaces, a reminder of their importance,
and a nudge into the awareness of offering them as well as accepting them.

i smiled long after i talked with him.
so glad he was part of my life.
so glad we had worked hard on learning to make spaces together.
and so glad for the beauty of friendships.

1 comment:

Diane in AR said...

amen on the beauty of friendships - I could not get by in my life without them. . .and spaces - good too. . .I'm learning - thanks ter