Wednesday, June 19, 2013

angles and crowns

there really is  a point to this story.
i'm not just tellin' an 'i went to the dentist' story!
i promise!

i hadn't been in years.
i used to go faithfully every six months.
then i lost insurance when i got divorced.
i paid outta pocket for a cleaning every year for a couple years.
but at some point money got tight, i skipped a few years,
and the next thing i knew the dentist didn't have the xrays anymore
and it'd cost way too much for me to get back into the groove with them.

so i stopped.
and tried real hard to keep my teeth in good shape.

things moved on, i got a new insurance rep, he found me cheap dental insurance,
i hurt a tooth and i was pretty sure it was time to try out the insurance and a new dentist.

so when i made the appointment, i was pretty nervous. i figured i had some
dental work comin' my way. and all the worst case scenarios ran thru my head.

and yes...turns out i didn't just hurt that tooth, i broke it.
and yes, there's a crown involved. and a few other things of course....


but here's the thing......i was envisioning a root canal!
i don't even know what that really is, but i can tell ya i don't want one.
so while i hated the word 'crown' i was so relieved it wasn't a root canal.

i am not kidding.
that whole phrase freaks me out.

and while the bill is high, the insurance is gonna help. it's gonna help!
i wouldn't have had any help last year! and i get help this year!

and they've got some payment thing set up for me to work with me to make
paying easier.

so driving home i just felt so good.

how can you feel this good, terri??? i asked myself.

i knew all the downsides. i knew the expense.
i knew the fee that's like a kick in the face.
i knew all that.
any other fee like this woulda sent me over the edge.

but i felt like it'd work out.
i felt like i'd handle it.

THAT'S why i'm writing this story out.
it is completely a head trip.
it is completely an attitude thing.

and no, i don't get any credit for having a good attitude.
it just happened. i didn't try to make it happen.
but i really do have a good attitude.

i feel so good about doing what i need to do to take care of myself.
and i feel so good about workin' it out so i can actually pull it off.
and i feel so relieved that it's not any worse than it is.

and i'm looking at this thinking.......okay, need to look at a lotta other
things in your life like this. cause this is really much more fun this way.

it's completely completely a head game.
and yes, i gotta stop and ask 'isn't everything???'

yes! yes! yes! i do believe it is!

and i somehow feel really inspired about this.
and wanna play some awesome good head games with myself where the attitude
isn't quite as good.

i'm not sure i can just make that happen......i know that.
i've tried before. i know how hard it can be...
but still.......i feel really inspired........

it's all in the angle, isn't it?
it's all in the belief of doin' what i'm doin' cause it's a good thing,
and knowing i'll be able to pull it off.

not such an easy angle to get sometimes.
and yet.........something i totally want to shoot for.......

1 comment:

Diane in AR said...

I first read the title as 'angels' and crowns, not angles - but sounds as though you have an angel on your shoulder whispering the upsides to having to have dental work!! It's true, it's all how you look at it!! And you are right - a crown procedure, while not the most fun thing, is not as complex or daunting as a root canal (I speak from experience here - lol). You can do this, you have $$ help from the insurance, your tooth will be better - all good!! (and you got a great blog subject from the experience as well!)