Thursday, June 20, 2013

sinking my teeth in.....go figure......

yesterday i wrote about my teeth stuff....but it wasn't about my teeth stuff....
it was about taking care of what i needed to take care of and having a good attitude.
i was so proud of myself and felt so good.

well go ahead and scratch all that.

flip it all over, picture it all coming apart, and then me dealing with it in the
most mature way possible........i cried.

i just cried.

it's just all the stuff you'd expect, things unraveling, insurance sucking and all
that stuff we all deal with all the time.

but there i was, landing hard from feelin' nice and high.

flat on my back.

and i cried.

and for a little bit there, i just kept leaking.
it was right before lunch and as i sat with the guys
they mentioned some sad world news, and i cried.

they all looked at each other.


which made me laugh.
and cry.

finishing lunch, i knew there was only one thing to do -
i went out and mowed part of the lawn.
i mowed and sweated and thought.
i sweated and mowed and thought some more.

i did a lotta thinking.

some of which included the darn - 'well, the whole point of the thing was about
your attitude terri...what's your attitude here???'

sometimes i get tired of that part of me.

but it does help.
cause i started thinking thru a lot of stuff.
which included my attitude.

and i started looking at the strings attached to my attitude,
and to this particular happening.

i saw so many strings.
so many strings.

and............i saw how my biggest problems really are about me.
how my doubts about myself really really are my biggest demons.
and how i still had the opportunity to take care of myself.
maybe in a less straightforward way, maybe i'd have to zig zag a little......
but still....i could and would do what i had to.

and what would my attitude be?

it really kinda depends on how i view myself, doesn't it?

and right there is something i want to sink my teeth into.
now how's THAT for a pun???

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