whooshhhhhhhhh

the coolest thing happened!

it's been a stressful week.
got some personal stuff goin' on that's been causing just about
every kinda emotional response there is. you name a feeling,
and chances are i felt it this week.

i'm not kidding when i say i'm an emoter.
my goodness.

well a lotta the agitated feelings were bubbling up inside me
like crazy. i got on the treadmill and moved along like
nobody's business. wow. i've walked when i was stressed
before and this really ranked right up there in energy release.
definitely stress fueled.

i got off and was still a mess inside.
i headed for the shower.
a nice cool shower.

and then something happened.
my head was under the water...
this cool water was just pouring over me
when it felt like something burst.
not just in me....but almost like all out of me.
almost like a burst of energy just whooshed right out
all over me. out of my arms, legs, chest, everywhere......
whoosh.

and it felt like the hugest release ever.

i kinda just stood there under the water
thinking 'wow....that was awesome'.......
i didn't want to move outta the water.
and then standing there exactly the same in
the water, i tried to tune in to what it was about.

and i got this strong strong message to just be love.
but here's the coolest thing.......
TOWARDS MYSELF.

i mean, i think when we want to 'be love' it's gotta start with
loving ourselves. i know that. but i get caught up in the things
like 'well the loving thing to do for this person would be this....'
the whole taking care of everyone else thing. trying to fix things.
trying to make things better.

but that's not what i got.
there was a definite feeling of release and then...
i got....you just have to take care of you.
you don't have to do anything else right now.
go have some juice, go enjoy your day. just be love towards yourself.

just take care of you.

i'm just about crying as i type it out.
it makes me think of the bone sigh that keeps coming up for me this week -

she had worked so hard

on seeing her heart -

now she realized she had to do more

than just see it -

she had to hold it when no one else would,

she had to believe in it when others doubted it,

she had to love it more than anyone else could -

because only then would she be able to open it

and offer it for Real.